R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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