I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
