Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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