party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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