i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There r osticjed everywhere
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
