foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
