your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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