Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
