I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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