4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
