4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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