Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
