gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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