A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
