Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
