There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Say something about gay babies.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
