wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
