these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
