You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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