well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
