"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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