so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
