I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Come on in and take your pants off
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