Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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