Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
