Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
