My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
