If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
