At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
