okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
