I want to have your abortion
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
