I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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