bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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