dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
