I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
