used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
