well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
