good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Im part way to drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
