honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
