She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
