your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need to calm my uterus...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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