Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
