Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize