I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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