"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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