I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
