My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
