My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
