Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i now understand why vodka
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
