So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize