Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
