I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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