Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

North Korea, Best Korea!

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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(214): View more from Texas

A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.

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(818): View more from California

She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....

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(260): View more from Indiana

just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

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(360): View more from Washington

I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

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(514): View more from Quebec

apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island

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(614): View more from Ohio

-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins

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