As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
