all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
