would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
